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Idiotarian Party

08.26.05

You might be an idiotarian.

If you’ve ever come to a protest without your clothes…

If you spell America with K’s while writing in English…

If you think the United Nations is a bona fide governing body…

If you believe that the U.S. deserved to be attacked on 9/11 for its policies around the globe…

If you believe that Zionism is a form of racism…

If your main form of protest is destruction of property…

If you actually used the phrase “coming home to roost” in the past year…

If you think that a “global corporation” is evil by definition…

If you believe that “all property is theft”…

If you refer to Noam Chomsky as a “dissident”…

If you think that the proper response to terrorism is to “understand” the “root causes” of “Muslim discontent”…

If you think that the U.S. is a terrorist state…

If you think that Israel is a colonial power…

If you think that “world peace” will be accomplished by happy songs and “anti-war resolutions”…

If you honestly think that there is no connnection whatsoever between Islam and terrorism…

If you are a member of any organization with “Socialist,” “Communist,” “Marxist,” “Leninist,” “Aryan,” or “Revolutionary Council” in its title…

If you seriously believe that there is a “corporate ruling class”…

If you think all cultures are equivalent, and there is no moral difference between the U.S. and Saudi Arabia…

If you are convinced that some six million J-E-W-S are in control of the United States, a nation of 280 million people…

If your primary form of protest involves large puppets…

If you would rather watch people starve than let them eat genetically modified “Frankenfoods”…

If you have ever harmed people in order to protest testing on animals…

If you believe that the post-9/11 appearance of American flags is a sign of “jingoism”…

If you have ever worn sheets in public, and it wasn’t Halloween…

If you have ever held up a “People’s Republic” as an example for the West to follow.

If you equate strong criticism or public disgust with censorship and “McCarthyism”…

If your main form of protest involves stupid slogans that were old by 1969…

If you really think that the 9/11 attacks were God’s punishment for our “deviant ways”…

If you refer to terrorists strictly as “militants” or “activists”…

…You might be an idiotarian.

Hatip to Sector404

26 Responses

  1. Gravatar me Says

    Unfortunately you just described the general population of Berkely. Did you hear they are grading students on lunch now in one Berkley school.

  2. Gravatar rightwingprof Says

    Hilarious!

  3. Gravatar jason Says

    I am part of a group called communist beaters of America am i ok?:mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:

  4. Gravatar Leif Says

    Nice try, but stupidity is subjectional and so you can’t really call one group stupid thus giving the impression that you are smarter.

    Also an explanation behind each of these reasons would be nice, otherwise it sounds like another Foxworthy joke in a genre of jokes beat far past death.

  5. Gravatar Chad Says

    gee dang. I was trying so hard, too. You really busted my bubble, leaf. :roll:

  6. Gravatar Heath C. Says

    Who the hell explains every punch line in a joke? Thats retarded. Leaf here must be committee member…subjectively of course.

  7. Gravatar Ian L. Says

    This is AMAZING. Truer words could not have been written!

  8. Gravatar David Says

    What leif said. Also, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Bush Sr. are just a few responsible for 911 and they did it for global corporate elitist interests. They have yet to say a single true sentence. Am I an idiotarinimist for checking the facts for myself and seeing the obvious? That would be a bummer. I’m over it.

  9. Gravatar Chad Says

    You are an idiotarian for your own reasons, I’m sure. None of them being logical or fact driven. go play in the democratic underground.

  10. Gravatar JJ Says

    I was listening to the Sean Hannity show on the radio yesterday and some kook lady got on trying to pretend to be a rational democrat (yyyeeeaaa no such thing) but at the end of her rant she said, “Sean, do you really believe that those were airplanes that ran into the Towers? They were military missles.” (This quote is paraphrased).

    How can you communicate with people who buy into all these crazy conspiracy theories? They just cannot accept the truth because it doesn’t sit well with them ideologically. Honestly, I think there are some deep-seeded pyschological issues going on here. Yes, they are psychos.

  11. Gravatar me Says

    people are stupid. just a fact of life.

  12. Gravatar Walter Says

    you mean beyond pacifism…?

  13. Gravatar Dude Says

    Calm down, Walter.

  14. Gravatar Walter Says

    Im calmer than you are

  15. Gravatar Dude Says

    Walter! You’re not wrong, your an @$$hole!!!

  16. Gravatar Whatever Says

    Most of these are great, except:

    1) If you think that the proper response to terrorism is to “understand” the “root causes” of “Muslim discontent”…

    How is attempting to understand the ideas of others idiotic? Chad, do you think that my attempts to understand “the root causes” of your “discontent” are also so stupid?:cry:

    2)If you seriously believe that there is a “corporate ruling class”…

    With income inequality like that which exists today, the idea that a small group of wealthy people can have a disproportionate amount of control is hardly idiotic. While I think that some “leftists” tend to blame everything on “the evil corporations”, using them as a scapegoat whether or not it’s justified, there is definitely some substance to the corporate control idea. Keeping costs down and profits up is not usually conducive to being particularly huminatarian.

  17. Gravatar Chad Says

    C’mon W. You just proved yourself idiotarian.

    Lets all read number 1 together as a class,

    If you think that the proper response to terrorism is to “understand”… Stop.

    Can you tell me the keyword in that sentence, W?

    Let me give you a hint. It’s underlined.

    So when you took the libery to remove the word “terrorism” and replace it with “others”… thats pretty out of line and undeserving of a response. As you can see I gave you one anyways. I’m starting to become very dissappointed in your debates. Hardly worth the keystrokes.

  18. Gravatar Whatever Says

    Pardon me, but i think you’re rather missing the point. I still think that the act of flying airliners into crowded office buildings with the intention of killing as many people as possible and sending a message to the United States (is that explicit enough for you? I’m not trying to avoid the issue, Chad) is something that we ought to try to understand, if only so that we can prevent it from happening again. Even if what the other side has to say is completely stupid, it deserves to be listened to merely so that we can figure out how to change it. (Hint: Invading Iraq was not the appropriate response.)

    And i replaced “terrorism” with “ideas” because I think the most important part about terrorism is the motivation behind it, not the particular action. Anyone can kill people if they are really determined to, the important question is why would the want to in the first place, and why would so many other people sympathize?

  19. Gravatar eric Says

    did you really just say that, W? That has to be the dumbest thing I have read all day…honestly. What is there to understand about people flying planes into buildings to kill as many people as possible?

    I don’t expect anyone to go, “oh ok….well, let’s look at their religion and country on the other side of the world, try to understand it, and better adapt to their customs so we don’t get the shit blown out of us again.”

    no. that’s not how things roll around here. there is right and wrong, not just different perspectives. at least in this case there is.

    i just think your whole argument is based on trying to understand people that are…well, beyond understanding. what i understand is that they hate us for our values and because we are powerful.

  20. Gravatar Whatever Says

    I suppose that’s the fundamental difference of opinion here. You think 9/11 was simply the result of a bunch of insane people with a crazy agenda - “They hate us for our values.” Yeah, that must be it. :roll:

    I think it was indicative of a more complicated conflict between our society and theirs that can’t be solved by simply trying to kill every last one. (Hint: if 150,000 soldiers in Iraq can’t manage to wipe out the supposedly tiny group of insurgents, then either it’s not a simple matter of killing enough people, or they’re a lot smarter than you thought, or it’s not just a small group of radicals.) Until we come up with a solution better than invading countries with dubious motives, the basic conflict is going to continue, mark my words.

    While some of Bin Laden & Co’s rhetoric is so religious and off-the-wall that it is indeed “beyond understanding”, what really worries me is that Al Qaeda’s violent response to our society seems to be spreading. Did you see what happened after those cartoons were published? Terrorism is becoming more mainstream all the time.

    Now your response will probably be “well, what should we do instead, wait for the next attack?” and obviously doing nothing would be unacceptable as well, which is why I find the Democratic Party’s response so unsatisfactory. However, there are other things we can do to discourage terrorism.

    Unfortunately, these are things like developing our media outlets in the middle east (VOA style), providing financial incentives for democratic government, improving diplomatic relations in the region, basically pretending we care about the well-being of the Islamic world. We also need to put in a genuine effort to secure the nuclear materials of the former Soviet Union, etc. All of these things require time and effort (I’m sorry I can’t provide more concrete examples, but they exist.)

    Now you may be thinking “YOU LIBTARD, TERRORISM ISN’T SOMETHING YOU CAN FIGHT WITH YOUR LIBERAL “EVERYBODY CAN LIVE TOGETHER” BS” but your way isn’t working either, and is very expensive in human and financial terms, so perhaps it’s time to consider something more nuanced. And the first step is figuring out what the problem really is.

  21. Gravatar Chad Says

    Thats where you’re wrong. Our way IS working.

    We’ve eliminated terrorists all over the sandbox. If you don’t think that’ll prevent future attacks, then yer insane.

    You can “try” and understand them all you want. But anyone with half a brain already does. Allow me to help you out.

    They get “heaven points” for every infidel they kill. Infidel being YOU.

    Why? because you’re not a muslim, like they want you to be.

    I still don’t know why I even carry on these childish debates. They’re below me even, and thats saying something…

  22. Gravatar Whatever Says

    Ok Chad, any estimates how fast we’re eliminating Al-Qaeda? How about how fast they’re recruiting new members? I’ll bet you anything Al Qaeda is growing in size and strength as a result of our actions. Because for every terrorist you kill, there are 5 more waiting in line to avenge the newly created martyr.

    The terrorists are much smarter than you give them credit for. All that Islamic rhetoric and other $hit is a means to an end, namely control. And our actions have exacerbated the situation that allows Bin Laden, etc. to manipulate people into fighting against us. By attempting to wipe them out militarily, we confer upon them the glorious title of “islamic warrior”.

    Instead of cowards who kill innocent people for no apparent reason (remember the “outpouring of international sympathy” after 9/11???), they now seem more like freedom fighters or warriors of Islam or whatever. The trick is to get the Islamic world to stop them. I seem to have heard someone say something about local cooperation being the most important part of fighting the insurgents. who was it? oh wait, US troops! (link)

    the Army seems to at least partly recognize the problem, shame you don’t.

  23. Gravatar JJ Says

    Whatever, you are a schmuck if you think we didn’t deal a devistating blow to Al Qaeda. So they recruited a bunch of monkeys over there to blow themselves up… who cares. But when it comes to having the pre 9/11 capabilities to orchestrate another 9/11-like attack… they aren’t as able. The world’s governments are working on stoping their cash flow. They have been forced to hide in the deepest darkest recesses of that smelly desert.

    If we do not estinguish them militarily what do you suggest would be a more effective method. Apathy? That was Clinton’s game-plan and look where it got us. Psy-ops? Please. We must kill each and every one of these idiots. Plain and simple… if it rouses them up and brings the numbskulls outta the woodwork, so be it. They were already brainwashed numbskulls to begin with. They need to meet their maker and then burn in the eternal hellfire.

  24. Gravatar JJ Says

    :smile:

  25. Gravatar Chad Says

    W, I understand its important to win the hearts and minds of the “non-terrorist” locals. Thats not even an issue in this argument, why do you randomly pull random issues out yer @$$?

    I don’t understand you desire to “understand” cowardly, murderers of women & children. aka terrorists.

  26. Gravatar Whatever Says

    Chad - I want to understand them so I can more completely eliminate them, because I think your method doesn’t do that. I guess it’s that simple. Perhaps some liberals mean “sympathize” with the terrorists when the say “understand”, but make no mistake, I do not.

    JJ - Your point about a lack of alternatives is absolutely spot on. That is why the Democratic party is so impotent at the moment, because they can’t think of anything better to do (plus a bunch of other stupid stuff, but anyway.) My inclination is to say that the reason there seem to be no alternatives is because nobody really intelligent and with the right resources has put their mind to it, or if they have, their suggestions are being ignored (the latter is more likely). It is certainly a difficult situation, and I am left, in the words of Robert Bork, “With plenty of valid criticisms, but very few solutions.”


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