Pass The Ammo

Update » This has been updated a couple of times, as Ben is slow in the “battle of wits”.

Name: ben gunn
Email: buda@mgunner.com
Website: http://

i don’t know what lord you are praising that tells you to pass the ammo but it can’t be Jesus because it is pretty obvious that Jesus does not want us to kill or hurt other people. Jesus had no weapon and even when he was being CRUCIFIED he said to God to forgive them not kill them and condem them to Hell so if you could please change your name to praise Satan and pass the ammo that would show to be more true to your viewers and not confuse them. thanks and goodbye

Wow. I’m stumped. I’ve never had this unique feedback before. Although you’d think I’d get this all the time.

Dear Ben Gunn,

You must not be a Christian cos your name is Gunn and guns kills people. Jesus doesn’t like guns. You should change your name to Ben Flower. Jesus loves flowers. And also, you didn’t capitalize ‘he’ when refering to Jesus, and I’m pretty sure it says somewhere in the Bible that you always capitalize His name and any referance of Himself. Next time use capitals so you don’t confuse people who’re reading your righteous judgment.

Obviously he’s never heard of Odin - The Norse god of wisdom, war, art, culture, and the dead and the supreme deity and creator of the cosmos and humans. Sheesh. Note how wisdom and war go hand in hand?

Actually Gunns don’t kill people, guns kill people. My apologies on not capitalizing ‘he’ I am used to an automatic spell check on Microsoft Word. If you know that Jesus does not like guns then why is your web site about them?

thank you for welcoming me to the internet but would you answer my question instead of trying to find faults with my name or capitalization errors

-ben gunn

He’s back for more!

Actually, guns don’t kill people. People kill people.

And the very fact that you do not know to capitalize He in reference to God Almighty, only shows your lack of concern for Him. I pray you will grow closer to Jesus in your life, and learn to capitalize His name.

You claim that Jesus does not like guns, but I’ve maticulously scoured the Bible and happened to find no such reference to Jesus’ feelings on firearms.

I’ve personally been to the Library of Congress in D.C. and did some research on the subject. If you’ll see in this first century painting of Jesus you’ll notice that Jesus is holding a Lever Action Winchester Rifle, probably in the primitive .30-.30 caliber that was common at the time.

So you see my brother in Christ, you have gravely mistaken. I understand that many come claiming to be the light, and they deceive many. You sir, are one of these many decieved souls. Please see the error of your ways, and repent to your Father in heaven, that you might find favor in His eyes and grant you with the true appreciation for all of the fun that firearms bring His children.

Yours in Christ,
Chad

Poor Ben Gunn. He cannot grasp the obvious.
Read the rest of this entry »

It’s not everyday, that a professor of higher learning from the most powerful country in the world (Wales, UK) graces my website with not only a visit… but with actual feedback. I have memorized every word, so that I may better myself from his intellect and education.

It seems to me, after a quick perusal at your website, that although the website is well laid out and professional, your views are quite sickening. Haven’t you heard of the sanctity of life? Is that a picture of you in the cheque shirt? Have you had any education? I doubt it. I realise that you have made an admirable decision to show the world some of your thoughts on your website, which I have yet to do. In the 21cent. No person, Americans or others, should lose their life through a ruling class or government telling them to kill people they have never met for that governments economic or military’s own gain. Your obsession with guns is worrying. Their are many excellent computer games around where you can kill things without it being real. Why don’t you try one?

Regards, Proff. Chris Wison, W. London.

Time to go to school, folks. Let us get all scientifical and disect this nugget of wisdom that we have been given by the gracious professor.

It seems to me, after a quick perusal at your website, that although the website is well laid out and professional, your views are quite sickening.

Ah, the classic “You’re wrong, I’m right” approach. In his experience and education, he knows that he is always right, and everyone else is always wrong. There is no real scientific proof for this, but alot of people seem to buy it as proven fact, much like evolution. Thus making this argument null. Moving on.

Haven’t you heard of the sanctity of life? Is that a picture of you in the cheque shirt? Have you had any education? I doubt it.

Here we see he pulls the sanctity of life card out. Also an excellent strategic manuevre. Although at first it appears a very legitimate question, if one would only look closer by taking two hands and scraping away the horse sh*t, can they see the true question. “Haven’t you heard of the sanctity of a terrorists’ life?”

You see? It is actually a bass-ackwards question! He probably has a buddy or two in Al Quida! Yer lucky our federal agents can’t reach you over there.

And following up on this organ we’ve disected, he questions my education. This is hurtful on so many levels, and I’m sure he can understand why. If you’ll refer back to the first segment, only the well trained eye will see that he says my website is ‘well laid out’ and ‘professional’. And we all know that only a highly educated person, such as yours truely, could ever conjur up such a beautiful thing as Pass The Ammo.

I realise that you have made an admirable decision to show the world some of your thoughts on your website, which I have yet to do.

Now he mixes things up on us, so that we’ll lower our guard. Look closely and you will see a well placed compliment amongst the smack talk. He says that I have made an admirable decision. He admires me. I’m so excited. He even wants to start his own blog. Now, here is where I offer to build him a website in return for his almighty “Euro-Dollar”.

No person, Americans or others, should lose their life through a ruling class or government telling them to kill people they have never met for that governments economic or military’s own gain.

He is absoultely correct on this one. And I believe that we all should all meet, and get to know our enemies before killing them for trying to kill us. The logic behind the professors words is as a frying pan to my face. Why can’t common sense be this common anymore? I think we should stud this professor out, across the continent of Africa, so as to spread his seed of wisdom and understanding to the disease ridden country.

Your obsession with guns is worrying.

Although a little bit too “fatherly” for a stranger to say, he is right in this segment as well. Guns have been known to save lives countless times daily. And we woulden’t want anyone actually saving themselves from murder/rape etc. Once again, his higher learnings stumps the common man.

Their are many excellent computer games around where you can kill things without it being real. Why don’t you try one?

And with a swift manuvre, he tosses all seriousness aside, and enjoys a good joke that we can all laugh along with. That is the kind of educator I like. One who’s not afraid to socialize and have a good time with the simpletons of the internets. Thank you professor Chris Wison. Your words will not be soon forgotten.

And now it’s the part of the show where we share some furriner feedback with you, the readers.

I do love PTA feedback. It gives me a little warm spot in my belly, when I open up Outlook and see that my folder that says “Pass The Ammo Feedback” is nice and bold. Just bursting with some new nuggets of joy!

I have to admit though. This is the first feedback I’ve received that the feller claims he’ll kill me with my OWN gun! *Gasp

Name: Tom Smith

Email: goodchristian_47@hotmail.com.au, ratboy@ausfish.com.au

Website: http://

Message: at least you acknowledge that people hate you.
your the embodiment of everything that’s wrong with the world, unless of course this site is a joke, which i almost believed at one point, such is the astonishing idiocy you present here, you redneck whitebread chickenshit f–krag. do you get much hate mail? the reasons are many, firstly your site is so infuriating, that it creates hatred (hatred for you) in anyone that reads it, thus prolonging the needless ‘hatred,’ you are intent on preserving so that it may kill yet more animals, and ultimately humans through your support of war for the sake of war. i’m coming to kill you, i f–king mean it, and i’m going to kill you with you own gun. the bad karma i will receive will be worth the end to the suffering you inflict on the world.

I keep re-reading this, cos I’m not sure some parts make any sense. Mainly this sentence here:

the reasons are many, firstly your site is so infuriating, that it creates hatred (hatred for you) in anyone that reads it, thus prolonging the needless ‘hatred,’ you are intent on preserving so that it may kill yet more animals, and ultimately humans through your support of war for the sake of war.

I’m pretty sure that is a run on sentence. Very bad grammer never earned anyone respect.

Secondly, his (supposed)email says “Good Christian” *Scratches head

Thirdly, his secondary email uses a fishing site for the domain: http://ausfish.com.au. Doesn’t that mean he supports killing little fishies too?

Maybe you guys can make some sense out of this, cos I can’t. Maybe it’s a cry for help!

My response:

Listen here my good aussie friend from the world down below,

That is no way to go about talking to people. If yer gonna shoot me, then go buy your own blasted gun. That is…. if your own government will even trust you with a weapon that has a high potential of poking your eye out. I understand their concern for your well being.

I’m sure that you’re a good honest Christian, who loves the Lord God deeply, and would never want to hurt one of his prize creations. That might make him a wee bit wrathful. Ya never know… I’ve seen blasphemous folks snuffed out by bolts of lightening before. Well… at least I heard about it.

-Chad Coleman
www.PassTheAmmo.com

This message was sent from:
Pass The Ammo.com Feedback

————————————————————
Name: Justin

Email: jdh@thisexit.us

Website: http://www.thisexit.us

Message: If I may make one suggestion, the responses by the main authors of the website need to cleaned up.

I’m not 100% sure who this site is aimed at, but when it comes to receiving respectable visitors you will send them away due to lack of vocabulary or holding a poor image.

Hopefully you take this as constructive criticism, I would like to read more from your site and plan to. For the time being it will sit, the girlfriend will be here soon and I’m sure you can understand that!

My Response:

Are you joking?

lack of vocabulary??? haha

poor image??? haha

you have a girlfriend!!?? bwa haha

p.s. - Interesting website. And you have a natural talent for art, young man. I would like to see more, but the wife is here and I’m sure you can understand that.

-Chad Coleman

Justin replys:

I guess this email goes to show that constructive criticism is unacceptable anymore.

Is this the best response you can come up with?

Snooping around my website, I see… Do you really think I took the time to create that? It’s funny if anything.

Trying to help is a bastard I guess, maybe you should reread my email and attempt to response with more tact. It was not meant to insult or demean.

haha. sorry. lemme try again.

—————

Dear Mr. Justin,

Thank you so much for visiting my humble website. Here at ‘Pass The Ammo’ we strive to bring in readers from all walks of life, but mainly…. smart and respectable people. Often you will find us using fancy phraseology, terrific terminology, lucrative lexicon, but sometimes we get negative feedback, and in acrimony, we reply with vexing vernacular. You’ll have to forgive my idiotic idiom, in my previous email. I was not sure if you were friend or foe.

As you are a newer reader, I suppose you have not taken the time to read through the archives. Under our ‘Feedback’ category, you’ll notice that we get plenty of violent verbiage. So when constructive critisism comes along, it is far too often lumped in with vindictive verbalism.

Also as a newer reader you may be completely unaware of the fact that we are white trash, honky redneck, inbred backwoodsmen, and completely lack in upholding a wealthy image.

Our average day involves, drinking black coffee, putting liberals six feet under, shooting varmints, a neighborly game of Keg Tossing, and any other violent or offensive activity that requires a stretch of the imagination.

At this point you are most likely realizing that this website is completely below your class. We completely understand. This website is where the poor working class feel comfortable. They’re able to get on the site, hold simpleton conversations, and enjoy the real life.

Thanks for visiting.

Sincerely,
Chad Coleman

———————–

As you can see. Lack of vocabulary, and poor images are not exactly something we worry about. It’s not like we make any money from this site. In fact, it costs us money. We do it for kicks. Yup. Good times. Laughs, sh*ts and giggles, you name it.

First rule: Don’t take us seriously. we just like to make fun, and be made fun of. Thats all.

-Chad

Name: Larry Wilson

Email: pta@larry-wilson.com

Hey, guys! Great website!

My sons, both in Iraq, are wanting to know when you’re going to joing them? You know, they supported the war, also, and then they did something about it.

I’m wondering; why aren’t you supporting the war?

Just curious.

My response:

I can sense the snide sarcasm in your question, Larry. Very cute. And I hate to say this, but you’re not the first clever soul to ask us that, in that manner.

There are a series of unfortunate accidents (some physical, others not) in which prevents any of us from joining. Wether you believe us or not, I’ll just let you know that all of us, besides JJ who’s already served 4 years as a army medic, have attempted to enlist and have been sent packing.

And you may not understand this, but believe it or not, there are plenty of ways to support the war at home.

That’s your cue to call us chickenhawks.

p.s. - I would think that you’d be very proud of your “two sons” serving in the sandbox, and would at least honor them by showing photos or mentioning them on your website.

-Chad Coleman

So way back when, during the whole elections deal, I was running this Stop John website.

One day this fine fellow by the name of Dean Hughes, decides to stop by and pretty much spam all the posts that were on the front page. That ranges to about 10-15 posts. And he spammed this huge list of why “Every repub he could think of, could NOT serve”. Isn’t that fabulous.

So I called him out publicly, and told him to submit any “fun facts” through the info page. And he did! What a trooper!

He even challenged me, suggesting that I woulden’t post it. I ain’t got nothin to hide from anyone… I posted itt.

How long has it been since the election now? Shoot. I failed math… I can’t count that many months. Either way it was alot… and I’m just now gettin this email from our buddy Dean Hughs.

I don’t have the original message… but it was somethin along the lines of

Please remove my name as a spammer on your site. Thank you.

Nice enough? I think so. Hell… I don’t even remember the guy. Ignore it. A week later he sends this.

Name: Dean Hughes

Email: dinosf@sbcglobal.net

Message: You still have my name listed as a spammer. Please Remove it per my earlier request.

So I ask for some links to where I have his name listed as a spammer.

If you have a link, that proves your name is on the website, please provide it to me.

-Chad

He provides the couple links.

http://frontierwebdesign.com/stopjohn/archives/000531.htm

The second is from –

http://frontierwebdesign.com/stopjohn/archives/000529.htm

Ahhh! Now I remember him! Yup… Ask anyone who operates a “blog” and they’ll tell you what a royal pain in the hind quarters spam can be. So I respond.

I remember you. Haha.

You went down about 10-15 different posts, and posted that huge list of why everybody coulden’t serve. Now… I operate quite a few websites, so I know what spam is. And buddy…. you were spamming.

The posts remain.

Sincerely,
Chad Coleman
www.StopJohn.com

Hehe… Needless to say…. ol’ Dean didn’t like them apples… they were way to sour. His response:

Never f**king mind. You stupid f**king redneck trash. You are already going to regret it. If there’s one thing you can rely on conservatives for, it’s that they are f**king stupid. I’ve already reported you to all the major search engines for the invisible text, to have you stripped from their engines. The next steps will go even further. I’m not going to take your juvenile bullshit. Remove my name or I’ll make it my mission to f**k you as hard as possible you stupid infantile piece of sh*t.

Is that clear enough for you, you inbred piece of trash.

No Dean…. frankly… it’s not very clear. Can you clearify things for me?

hadnt any time to respond before I got this.

Another thing – you stupid piece of sh*t – you have committed libel, I can prove it, and if my name isn’t off there in 24 hours you are going to get sued. I have studied libel law and I have all the proof I need to tie you up in court for years, and I have money. In short – you’re screwed. If you don’t think I’ll spend a lot of money to eviscerate (look it up dumb ass) a worthless piece of right-wing sh*t like you, try me. I’ve seen your portfolio, you obviously don’t have enough money to deal with me in court. Your best alternative is to remove any occurrence of my name and you won’t end up in court.

Buddy!

Oh the humanity!!! Attack my family will you!!! but not my portfolio!!!! oh… it sears….. it cuts to the heart…

STILL didn’t have a chance to respond before I got this:

I apologize for cursing at you so severely. I shouldn’t have. You pissed me off, but it didn’t call for such behavior. I do want you to remove my name and the invisible text with my email, as well as the visible and any reference to me or I will use the dated (and sent to my lawyer as dated) printouts to have your site stripped from the search engines and I will sue.

BTW – liked your Narnia theme, one of my favorite series of books as a kid. Made me regret being so hostile, again my apologies.

Wow. He must be a good Christian. Such a thorough apology… It even ended in compliments! Wow again! I like this guy… he’s really nice! I hope he’ll be my friend!

My response:

You sniveling… low down… high smelling…. boot licking… pussy faggot liberal.

Sincerely,
Chad

That’s pretty much what crossed my mind as I read your lovely emails.

But instead… I’ll do the right thing… and respond with this:

Oh no!!!!! Pleeeeeease mister!!!! Not the lawyers!!!!!

I’m just poor inbred honky trash!!! I can’t afford all yer fancy court fees, or even spelling lessons for that matter!!!! I have a wife and kids, and I just don’t have the money for a bunch of self righteous, money loving, greedy bastard lawyers to pay for this high and mighty dispute!

And since you came back with such a sincere and honest apology… that must mean that you are the better man… and that you really deserve to have your name takin off the site…

… only….

It’s not gonna happen.

Sincerely,
You picked the wrong S.O.B. to mess with…
I’m Rick James, b**ch!

Followed by…

BTW - You are totally bad ass!!!

I didn’t know you were an author for the LDS! (http://www.deanhughes.net/bio.html) (attn: I’m not even sure this is him)

Shoot. Shoulda said so earlier. Never knew you grew up in a trailor house. We’re as good as kin, right?!?!

-Chad

anxiously awaiting response…

I can’t say I get alot of mail from the fine upstanding citizens of Chicago. But last week I felt very blessed to receive such a letter of encouragement, and praise, from such a respectable and upright model citizen.

Name: GANGSTER DISCIPLES

Email: underthesix@yahoo.com

Message: GD LOVE- YOU DUMB ASS CRACKERS YOU ALL DESERVE TO DIE YOU HAVENT BEEN NOWHERE BUT F***ING IDAHO I BET YOU SHOULD SEE SOME OF THE WORLD DUMBASSES

I felt so priviledge to actually exchange emails with a “ganster desciple”. I mean… it’s not every day that an ordinary backwoodsman like myself has oppurtunities to learn about being cool. We never had the priviledge of watching MTV, and mimicing everything we saw on the station that is God’s gift to black men.

So I decided to do some research on the badassery of these “gangster desciples” and I was even more excited to see that they were really real gangsters… And they get to go to prison, and do hard drugs, and shoot people… and stuff. I coulden’t believe how cool they really were! And they were emailing me!!

So I kept trying to email the feller back, to see what the recruitment requirements were. Unfortunatley, Im not real sure on how valid the email address is. I dunno if they woulda let me join anyways, because I guess they’re also called the Black Gangster Desciples… and he already knows that Im just a dumb ass cracker. Such a curse, being a cracker and all. I wish I was black.

Its super fun feedback time!

Our fine, sophisticated, Euro friend Z writes,

I dont live in America and so until coming across this website accidentily I had never quite realized how unaware, ignorant, and one-minded some of you are. It is a stereotype I had often heard and if nothing else, you’re website has succeeded in confirming that. ’sponser a sniper!’ there’s nationalism, and then there is pathetic blindness to reality.

I really like Z. He’s smart. Someday, I will move to the great Eruo, and get an education on socialism. Then I will be smart too.

This was sent to me by my youth pastor, Brad. It was forwarded to him from his father in law.

Here’s a thought to warm some of your hearts…

From: Ed Chenel, A police officer in Australia

Hi Yanks,I thought you all would like to see the real figures from Down Under. It has now been 12 months since gunowners in Australia were forced by a new law to surrender 640,381 personal firearms to be destroyedby our own government, a program costing Australia taxpayers more than $500 million dollars.

The first year results are now in: Australia-wide, homicides are up 3.2 percent, Australia-wide, assaults are up 8.6 percent; Australia-wide, armed robberies are up 44 percent (yes, 44 percent)! In the state of Victoria alone, homicides with firearmsare now up 300 percent. (Note that while the law-abiding citizens turned them in, the criminals did not! and criminals still possess their guns!)

While figures over the previous 25 years showed a steady decrease in armed robbery with firearms, this has changed drastically upward in the past 12 months, since the criminals now are guaranteed that their prey is unarmed. There has also been adramatic increase in break-ins and assaults of the elderly.

Australian politicians are at a loss to explain how public safety has decreased, after such monumental effort and expense was expended in “successfully ridding Australian society of guns.” You won’t see this on the American evening news or hear your governor or members of the State Assembly disseminating this information.

The Australian experience proves it. Guns in the hands of honest citizens save lives and property and, yes, gun-control laws affect only the law-abiding citizens.

Take note Americans, before it’s too late!

Netherlands? Wheres that?

Dear Chad,

if you love your America and the freedom of it’s inhabitants so much, I think you should show a little more respect to people who do nothing but give there opinion. Even when you don’t agree.

In the Netherlands, where I’m from, a very talented filmmaker, Theo van Gogh, got murdered by a young muslim fanatic. This because of the filmmakers very radical statement against the islam. I didn’t like Van Gogh, I didn’t share his opinion about the islam. But nobody, Nobody deserves to get killed over what he or she says.

So, if you state that you would rather see a man like Michael Moore dead, that basicly puts you right beside the muslim fanatic that killed Theo van Gogh.

at least think about it.

Hessel Lingsma
the Netherlands

It’s a nice thought. But I still say we run a skill saw across Michael Moore’s spine.

Jan 18th, 2005 | Update »

Speaking of the fat bastard, my sister-in-law says she saw him at Costco. And yes…. he was standing in line at the food court, getting ready to indulge in some greasy, fatty fried foods that have been produced by the wonderfully capitallistic Costco. Michael Moore is actually a capitalist pig, by the way. In case your a big fan of the fat man, think about this for a bit.

1) MM gets filthy rich off of writing books and crockumentaries, which are extremely anti-American, anti-capitalism, anti-Gee Dubya. That in itself is the beauty of capitalism. If you can sell something, no matter how retarded, and make millions…. then do it.

2) MM likes to indulge in all of the gunky, luscious, swabbed and gooey, blubbery, cholesterol-filled, fatlike and lardaceous goodness that Capitalist fast-food joints have to offer.

3) MM says one thing and does another, and people still call him a patriot and a leader or example for something special like… communism maybe. Gee Dubya says one thing and does that one thing… Like “I’m gonna kill me some filthy terrorist dogs”…. then he does.

A PTA reader sent me this letter that was sent to him. It’s a good read, and it’s been edited for language.

I’ve spent 27 months in combat..a LRRP .. (a lie… it was 18 months in combat and nine months doing nothing, but it was all in Nam)

… worked in four-man teams (three GIs and a Yard) … we kicked ass… we ran, we shot, we made it out.

Spent a week in Bosnia with an armored cav unit during the Bosnian elections. Nobody messed with them.

Spent a week with an old bunch (60-70 year olds) of UDT/ NCDU guys. The SEALs sucked compared to them.

Spent some time with British EOD in the Falklands (I’ll show you a rough on a golf course. The sign says “MINED”).

Spent some time with these weird guys in Belize …Gurkha trained and able to do it all.

Here’s the story. If you don’t like being in combat don’t join the military. If you’re doing it to get an education, that’s an admirable reason (not a reason I would choose, but fine nonetheless), but be prepared to fight. Don’t talk to reporters except when you’re holding a gun (I’m a reporter now), don’t expect ANYONE to appreciate what you do for a living (and what you do for a living is be a soldier/grunt/airman/swab), don’t rat on your buddies unless they kill civilians (and back them when they screw with the bad guys.. what do you think will happen if YOU get snagged?), shoot anything that moves, believe that anything you do is righteous, back your buddy, and know that … you are right and “they” (no matter who the hell “they” is) are so wrong …. There really are a bunch of us who have been there/done that who are too old to do it again, but would trade places with you in a minute…. if you’re fighting now, you’re a hero …and if you think being a hero means anything, you’re wrong. But it beats not being a hero. Kick ass, take names, ignore the media, stick to your buddy’s back, and kill anything that looks remotely threatening. Better a dead them than a dead you.

I pray for you guys every day

If you can … get one for me …

Gary P. Joyce
RVN 8/68-1/71
E58 LRRP/K75 Ranger

Thanks Kevin for submitting this. I sit amazed.

Hi Chad,

A friend of yours (Ted Fletcher) is my brother-in-law. Love your site. Anyway I wanted to tell you about a man in our church named AJ that has just got back from Iraq. He told us in church today about how the power of prayer works. AJ and his son Josh have both been deployed in Iraq. He is with special op’s and Josh is a medic. Our church has been praying for AJ and Josh while they have been deployed as well as the other soldiers. Josh is with a marine unit that has had the most injuries or deaths. They are at about 50% injury or death from the fighting.

AJ told us how He and Josh have had many incidents were they should have been killed but miraculously were safe. One time an RPG went right through Josh’s Humvee, in one side and out the other without exploding. Another time Josh was working on an injured soldier with 2 marines with him, when a insurgent terrorist came around the corner and opened fire on all of them from about 50 feet away with an AK47. No one was hit with bullets flying all around them, except for the terrorist when they took him out.

AJ was in a sleep in his tent one night, the next mourning got up to find a rocket 9 feet long about 10 inches in diameter hit about 15 feet away, went four feet in the ground and never exploded.

There are a lot more of these stories he was telling us, that they both feel that it was because of our prayers that God kept them safe. It was really amazing to here.

So keep praying for our troops, because the power of prayer is amazing.

Keep up the good work.

Kevin